Making Room
Nobody really wants to talk about mental illness…
…especially not at this time of year.
No, we want to talk about the light and fluffy. Snowfalls, gift guides, gatherings, favourite dishes that love on our sense of sight, taste and smell. We want to talk about cozy spaces and friendship and outdoor activities. Twinkling lights, candle glow, warm fireplaces and peppermint mochas are high on the list.
If we believe in the reason for the season, we want to acknowledge a babe in the manger thousands of years ago who changed the course of history and made a way for us to have peace with God, new life, eternal hope. Yes, we want to talk about that. We should talk about that. The angels singing, carols, decorations and presents to remind us of the greatest gift of all, Jesus.
But we don’t want to talk about mental illness. The brokenness of the mind. The battle within. It feels unwanted, weighty, especially in the mere weeks before Christmas.
But here’s the thing: we have to. Why? Because it’s Christmas time.
This is when those that suffer often feel the loneliest. Why?
Because they think they should feel better by now.
They think that they should feel all the good things one does at Christmas.
When they realize they don’t it leads to greater despair. The lies creep in one at a time, “I’m alone” “I’m still stuck in this endless rut.” I’m not worthy enough for them.” (Or Him) “I’m doing all the things my therapist tells me and I’m not getting better.” “I thought walking my own path would give me more hope and empowerment” “I’m still hurting after all these years and I don’t see a way up or out.” “Will I feel like this forever?” “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”
No, they won’t be stuck in this place forever with the right help and support but in the loneliest moments it’s easy to believe that they might.
You know that neighbour that hides away? They need a knock on their door. That friend who doesn’t seem to want to talk about “it”? They may need some pressing in. That person with all the tattoos and piercings in the grocery store that gives you bad vibes? They might just need an “I see you” smile and maybe even a genuine “are you okay?”. That family member that’s hard to love and partly estranged? They might just need to hear “you’re welcome at our table”.
But we want all the fuzzy feelings of the season. That’s what we’re told we should want anyways. Get rid of those who don’t “serve you.” “Create a life you love” That comfortable, self made, false sense of peace-oh it promises so much and yet satisfies nothing within us. And yes it feels safe but it might not save lives. It might not draw us nearer to the Saviour. It might not allow us to feel less alone during a season that is all about giving and celebration and let’s be honest- utterly busy schedules.
And I wonder if that’s the reason we struggle to look beyond the exterior so often? We simply don’t make room for anyone not on our personal agenda. Those who battle anxiety, depression and other pains of the mind and heart often feel unseen and hard to love. But they don’t have to stay that way, in fact they were never meant to live that way. Life fills up fast if we let it so maybe we don’t let it, and maybe we make some room?
Somebody made room for our Saviour to be born in warmth and safety. When we make room for Him in our lives He gives us what we need to make room for one another. Maybe a phone-call, a text message, a real hug, a genuine smile. It all leads to something greater. So let’s do that this Christmas and see how the humble offering of our time multiplies.
~Lynnelle